Early Telltale Signs That He Is Violent

 # Early Telltale Signs That He Is Violent: What to Watch For

During dating, women are usually hopeful and blinded by the hope to find the knight is a shining armor. Unluckily, not every man will be that. Some of them will batter you up physically, mentally and emotionally. Prevention is better than cure though. Understanding the early signs of a potentially violent partner is crucial for your safety and well-being. Gender based violence can start subtly, making it essential to recognize the warning signs before they escalate. This guide highlights key indicators to watch for, helping you make informed decisions about your relationships.

1. Excessive Jealousy and Possessiveness

We all want to feel the thrill of a possessive man. Don't let too many vampire movies blind your judgement that every time someone gets close to you, your partner growls.

One of the earliest signs of a potentially violent partner is extreme jealousy. While some jealousy is natural, excessive jealousy is a red flag. This can manifest as:

- Constantly questioning your whereabouts

- Demanding to know who you are with at all times

- Accusing you of being unfaithful without reason

Jealousy often leads to possessive behavior, where he might try to control your activities, limit your interactions with friends and family, and isolate you from your support network.

Your partner should know whether to trust you or not. The issue of "where are you?" followed by "what are you doing?" and "are you sleeping with them? Or are you chosing them over me?" should have you running so far away.

2. Quick Temper and Mood Swings

Frequent mood swings and a short temper can indicate underlying anger issues. Pay attention if he:

Loses his temper over minor inconveniences Yells or becomes aggressive during arguments

Displays unpredictable behavior that makes you feel on edge

These mood swings can escalate from verbal abuse to physical violence if not addressed.

3. Controlling Behavior

A violent partner often exhibits controlling behavior early on. This control can be emotional, financial, or physical. Signs include:

- Telling you what to wear or how to act

- Monitoring your phone, emails, or social media accounts

- Making decisions for you without your input. For me even ordering food without a question is a red flag. 

Controlling behavior is about power and dominance, which are core components of abusive relationships.

4. Blaming Others for Problems

Individuals prone to violence often avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Instead, they:

- Blame you or others for their problems and emotions

- Justify their bad behavior by claiming they were provoked. 

- Refusing to acknowledge their role in conflicts. Most times when there is a conflict between the two of you, you will always be the one to blame.

This blame-shifting can make you feel guilty and responsible for their actions, undermining your self-confidence.

5. Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse is a precursor to physical violence. Watch for:

- Insulting or belittling comments. If your partner belittles everything about you, please walk away. 

- Name-calling and derogatory remarks. I've seen women say their partner called them fat, fools or even worse names and apologized. Make those bounderies and see how he reacts. The earlier you know his true colors the better for you.

- Threats of harm or intimidation for instance if he keeps saying the day you leave is the day I'll kill you. Or one day I'm going to slap you.

Verbal abuse erodes your self-esteem and sets the stage for more severe forms of abuse.

6. History of Violence

A history of violent behavior is a strong indicator of future violence. If he has a past marked by:

- Previous abusive relationships

- Violent incidents or criminal records

- Aggressive behavior towards others, including animals

It's crucial to consider this history seriously, as past behavior often predicts future actions.

 7. Extreme Reactions to Rejection

How he handles rejection can reveal a lot about his potential for violence. Red flags include:

- Overreacting to perceived slights or rejection

- Becoming overly emotional or threatening when things don't go his way

- Attempting to manipulate or coerce you into changing your mind

Extreme reactions can indicate an inability to handle emotions healthily, leading to aggressive behavior.

8. Pressure for Quick Commitment

Rushing into a relationship can be a tactic to gain control. Be wary if he:

- Pressures you to move in together quickly

- Pushes for early commitment or marriage

- Tries to isolate you from friends and family soon after meeting

Rapid commitment can make it harder to leave if the relationship turns abusive.

9. Disregard for Boundaries

Respecting boundaries is fundamental to a healthy relationship. Signs of boundary violations include:

- Ignoring your requests for space or time alone

- Pressuring you into uncomfortable situations

- Disrespecting your privacy and personal space

A disregard for boundaries often escalates into more severe forms of control and violence.

 10. Substance Abuse

Substance abuse, including alcohol and drugs, can exacerbate violent tendencies. Be cautious if he:

- Frequently drinks to excess or uses drugs

- Becomes aggressive or abusive when intoxicated

- Uses substances as an excuse for his behavior

Substance abuse can lower inhibitions and increase the likelihood of violent outbursts.

Conclusion

Recognizing these early signs can help you protect yourself from entering or continuing a relationship with a potentially violent partner. Trust your instincts and seek support if you feel unsafe. Resources such as domestic violence hotlines, support groups, and counseling services are available to help you navigate these challenging situations. Your safety and well-being are paramount, and taking proactive steps can make all the difference.

Do not be afraid to start afresh. It takes so much time to recover after dealing with an abusive partner than it takes to walk away and start with someone new. I've witnessed women who never totally healed after being in abusive relationships. Be careful and cautious. 

Stay safe and feel free to share what signs you look out for to see if he is physically abusive.