Red Flags You Shouldn't Ignore on the First Date

Introduction

It is very exciting when a guy asks you out on a date. With online dating becoming the norm, sometimes you just take the leap of faith and meet an individual you haven't met before. In our excitement to give love and get loved, we tend to ignore the red flags on a first date and if no boundaries are set, it won't get any better as the relationship progresses. The earlier you set those boundaries, the better for you. 

Here are some of the red flags you shouldn't ignore during the first date.

1. Catfishing 

The moment your date shows up and you realize that they are not the person they claimed to be, you should walk out. Did they claim to be younger? Prettier? In shape or even out of shape? Which information did they give you when you were chatting online? I am a firm believer of people telling the truth especially if they are looking for something serious. The fact that you showed up 20 years older than your claimed age or 50kgs heavier than what you claimed only shows that you are not comfortable with yourself. That would make me uncomfortable with you too. Just tell the truth. Whoever likes you, likes you. Whoever doesn't, won't like you.

There's one advantage in the current world though, video calls. Make those calls before meeting up.

2. Personal Hygiene and Appearance

I don't know why you'd show up on a date looking like you made zero efforts to tidy up and smell good. If you show up looking or smelling weird, the other party is allowed to walk out. A date was planned beforehand, make some damn effort.

3. Spending too much time on the phone

This is one of the biggest signs that you should walk away. That date is just waving a red flag in front of you and the worst thing that you can do is ignore it. If he is more interested in his phone than he is in you, then he should date his phone. First dates can be awkward. They are a good chance to find out if you have anything in common.  

4. Bashing or Talking too much about their ex

Why does he want his ex to look bad to you? If they must talk about the ex, it only should be to confirm that he isn't in a relationship any longer. If they keep going about my ex this and my ex that, girl pack up those bags and lose his phone number. If he bashes her, don't even pack up, just leave. That man is a walking red flag. 

5. Not giving you a chance to speak or order

Have you ever gone for a date with a man who couldn't stop talking? All he did was talk about himself ? It's awful and at some point you find yourself switching off. I don't mind someone offering suggestions on meals depending on their experience, but I'd hate someone who goes on to order a meal without asking for my opinion.  Ordering a meal for you without asking for your opinion isn't cute. It is insulting and definitely is a sign that shouldn't be ignored. Bring it up on that first date and see how he reacts.

6. Acting like he owns your body now that he paid for a meal

I don't know if this happens anywhere else, but in Nairobi,  some men act very entitled to your body after they buy you a meal or a drink. If he acts so, you should definitely walk out unless you're interested in him too. In my former post, https://shespeaksplatform.blogspot.com/2024/02/how-to-prepare-yourself-for-date-as.html one of the ways to get ready for a date is to have some money with you. If he is dramatic, refund him and get yourself home.

Conclusion

As women, we wouldn't get into some of the troubles that we do if we didn't ignore these red flags on a first date. If you need something serious, you ought to be very keen and careful from the first date onwards. The signs are always at your face just that you're busy ignoring them. 

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