SheSpeaks

 2025 is here with us. Isn't it sooner than we all thought? Anyway, welcome to 2025 and with all the dating advice I've been posting in the last year, I'd have thought you're well equipped to go date but here you're girl. What are you? A slow learner? Or too lazy?  In 2025, i expect every girl who wants to date to also try looking for money as hard as y'all are trying to look for boyfriends. I also expect you to prioritize your mental, physical and spiritual health. We all can't be having mad people in the dating pool.  This year, it's okay to be cautious. Tell a friend where you're going and who you're going with. I also encourage y'all to keep off your friend's boyfriends or sister's boyfriends. The  world is big enough to not dip your hand into your close circle's pot.  I'm begging you to be selfish with your wombs. Some of these guys y'all are getting babies with just make me want to weep. How do you get a baby with so...

 So you are back into the dating world or have been there for a while. What are some of the things that you feel are a deal breaker? What would make you leave and never think of coming back? Most times, i have found that giving advice to people is easier than giving it to yourself. So let me do you the favor of stating out the few things i think should not forgive especially in the dating stage. 1. Physical abuse “Do not put up with mistreatment. If you allow yourself to be mistreated, you will be.”   —Unknown If there is something that i have learned about people who physically abuse you is that they never change. The day he/she raises a hand to hit you is the day that you walk and keep walking not to look back. Normally, it  will be followed by excuses and at some point the abuser will try to blame you for their actions. They will then treat you extra ordinarily well and you will think that maybe they are a good person and you are the reason they hit you. The cycle will...

 Are you Kenyan guy looking to get back into the dating pool or are you from another country and looking to date a Kenyan? Well, you have come to the right place. Kenya is a beautiful place with beautiful babes and slightly stingy men. If you are a woman considering dating a Kenyan man, you might as well as be on your knees constantly so you don't meet the stingy, violent and controlling type; but then i guess that applies to any woman that is looking to date in spite of the country they are from. Now, what is it that should you expect from most of the Kenyan women? Here is a list of what you might run into while dealing with the so fine Kenyan women. 1. Tuma Fare This translates to 'send transport money'. Honestly i don't know how to feel about this statement. Sometimes i think a woman should have their own transport money but then the nonsense that most Kenyan men will put through, i believe women should be sent transport money of even a cab. It is also very common th...

  This is coming from a personal experience.  About four years ago i got pregnant while i thought i was having fun. I wasn't ready for a kid but i knew i would I'd afford one. What i wasn't ready for was pregnancy complications and a bonus baby. I knew i wouldn't afford two babies. I was also not ready to be told to stop working hard. With my job involving carrying around heavy items and organizing tedious events, i had to quit. That was mistake number one; cutting off my stream of income.  Mistake number two followed soon; Moving into his house. My ancestors are the laziest if they weren't screaming 'Do not do it' in their graveyards. I was in a man's house, with no source of income, pregnant and i knew he was not in love with me. Needless to say, i cried through the 8 months and did housework to the last minute of 34 weeks when i was admitted to the hospital due to high blood pressure. He changed his mind last minute and went to the hospital with me. I...

Americanah is a novel by the Nigerian award winning author Chimamanda Adichie Ngozi that won her the National Book Critics Circle Award for Fiction in 2014. What is it about? I would consider Americanah a romantic novel since it revolves around two characters "Ifemelu"  who is nicknamed "Ifem" and her boyfriend Obinze who she refers to as 'ceiling'. Theirs is not a direct story and the origin of the nickname "ceiling" is funny and sweet.  They start dating in high school and join the same University. Due to strikes, Ifem tries her luck and succeeds to move to America. Unlike her, Obinze doesn't succeed. They keep writing to each other until Ifem, who is struggling to pay her bills in the USA stops writing after she has what i would refer to as a creepy encounter with some coach. Obinze goes crazy trying to reach her until she closes her email account. She moves on to date other people as she blogs on issues affecting black people in the USA whi...

Introduction  In this post, i will start by simply defining in my own terms what it means to chase a man. Chasing a man means you are the one always reaching out, you are the one that is pushing for dates and you are the one that is giving 95% energy for anything to happen in that relationship. It's a sad reality and almost every other woman has found herself in a position that she wanted to chase a man. As a woman who has chased a man before, i will give  a few reasons as to why you should join a cult before chasing a man. 1. He will not change Once you start doing the chasing and pushing for that relationship, do not expect him to just wake up one day and start initiating dates, getting you flowers or making you breakfast in bed. Chasing a man and starting a relationship with him is simply setting yourself up for a heartbreak. At the end of the day, you will want to blame him for giving you the bare minimum but does he actually deserve it? No. It's your own doing. Accept tha...