Dating tips for single parents

 My dad passed on when my mum was just 34 years. When i was a kid, it's seemed normal that my mum stayed single. Later in life, i always wondered why she didn't date again. She was and still is very beautiful. She was young then. When i asked her she gave me a simple answer " I chose to stay single for your sake as my kids.". That should have been a profound moment but it didn't occur to me how much that sacrifice meant.  As i grow older, that statement makes much more sense to me than ever before. Today, i listened to the sound of a 10 month baby who assaulted to death by the partner the baby's mother was dating. It was heartbreaking. As a single parent, dating won't be as easy as it were when you didn't have children. Apart from watching out for yourself, you will have to watch out for your kids and to make sure that they do not get hurt. 

Here are a few tips for single parents who want to get back into the dating pool.

1  Communicate with Your Kids

Teach your kids the real names of their private parts. Let them know if someone touches or asks them to show it, they should come directly to you. Instill in your children the fact that no good adults asks kids to keep a secret.

Transparency is Key:

Explain to your children, in age-appropriate terms, that you are dating and what that means. This helps them understand the changes in your life and prepares them for meeting new people.

Reassurance:

Make it clear that dating doesn't mean you love them any less. Reassure them that your commitment to them remains unchanged.

2. Prioritize Online Safety

Background Checks:

Use online dating platforms that offer background checks or conduct your own research. Verify the identity and background of anyone you plan to meet. Most offenders will have an excuse or say they were falsely accused, as a parent, do not take the risk of giving anybody the benefit of doubt. The casualty will probably be your kid and it will hurt more than missing out the chance kf dating a registered sex offender.

Meet in Public Places:

Always choose public locations for initial meetings. This ensures a safer environment for both you and the person you are dating.

Digital Boundaries:

Be cautious about sharing personal information online. Protect your address, phone number, and details about your children until you are comfortable and trust the person.

3. Take Things Slowly

In the current world, anybody who rushes into wanting to meet your kid should ve treated with suspicion. Do not be in a rush to make a partner known to your kids. Introduce your new partner to your children only when you are confident about the relationship's potential. Early introductions can be confusing and unsettling for kids.

Observe Interactions:

Pay attention to how your partner interacts with your children. Look for signs of respect, patience, and genuine interest in their well-being. 

4. Trust Your Instincts

Listen to Your Gut:

If something feels off about the person you are dating, trust your instincts. Your primary responsibility is to protect your children.

Red Flags:

Be alert to red flags such as controlling behavior, excessive interest in your children early on, or a lack of respect for your parenting boundaries. Touching your kids or asking them to stay naked or show their private parts. Listen to your kids. 

5. Maintain Routine and Stability

Consistency:

Keep your children's routines as consistent as possible. This includes bedtime schedules, school routines, and family activities.

Balancing Time:

Ensure that dating doesn't interfere with your quality time with your children. They should not feel neglected or sidelined by your dating life.

6. Set Clear Boundaries

Define Rules:

Establish clear boundaries about what is acceptable in your dating life and communicate these to your partner. This includes respecting your parenting style and the time you dedicate to your children.

Involvement in Decision-Making:

Depending on their age, involve your children in discussions about changes that may affect them, such as someone new spending time at home.

7. Seek Support

Support Networks:

Join support groups for single parents where you can share experiences and get advice. These groups can provide emotional support and practical tips.

Professional Advice:

Consider speaking to a therapist who specializes in family dynamics and single parenting. They can offer valuable insights and strategies for balancing dating with parenting.

8. Educate Your Children

Stranger Safety:

Teach your children about stranger safety and appropriate boundaries. Ensure they know they can come to you with any concerns.

Open Communication:

Foster an environment where your children feel comfortable discussing their feelings and experiences with you. Open communication is crucial for identifying and addressing any issues early on.

9. Have your shit together

Financially, emotionally and even spiritually such that you won't have to cling on an asshole who treats your kids like crap simply because you're getting some benefits.

Conclusion

Anybody who looks at a kid sexually is a creep. I can't think of a way that the mother of a ten month baby would have kept her baby safe apart from not allowing someone she probably trusted into her house. The world is very sick and sadly it's only getting worse. 

Dating as a single parent requires careful consideration and a balanced approach to ensure your family's safety and happiness. By prioritizing communication, maintaining routines, setting boundaries, and trusting your instincts, you can create a positive dating experience that enriches your life and supports your children's well-being. Remember, your family's safety and happiness come first, and with these strategies, you can navigate the dating world with confidence and care.

Stay safe and hug your babies. 💞